Overcoming One Battle, Only to Begin Another, With the Best Party Any RPG Could Offer

So, quite a bit has happened since my last post. The antagonist of this chapter of life has been defeated. I graduated from high school! I attained the diploma which was the key that allowed me to advance the story line of my life.

As I move on, I realize that like most RPGs, through the first part of my schooling adventures, I stumbled upon party members that bring their own abilities, personalities, and quirkiness to the table. And I also realized that as I go into the other half of my schooling, though not all of my party members will be available for use at all times, I will not be losing any at all. In fact, I do believe that only potential for this man's party is to keep growing. Experience abounds and I am all for grinding and power leveling so I can be sure that I can overcome any boss battle that my friends and I may encounter.

Secondly, I've also fallen. I met someone named Mic, became close with him, and viola! we are together. It seems so right; it is so right. I've never felt so calm, so at ease, so...me, around someone who I'm with. I feel as though I can do no wrong with him, and he can do no wrong in my eyes. He is so sweet, so caring, so himself. He is true to himself and tries not to let anyone get in his way.


I believe we have a Yuna and Tidus relationship cropping up here.

A Brief Rest for a Weary Traveler

We are two different people. We love one another. But, at the same time, this love...this love...this love....is better left for later days. Right now, we are two different people, at two different places in our lives, at two different levels, but all these lead to the one conclusion that it won't work. It wouldn't work.

This is the best thing for us. This is the best thing for us. This is the best thing for us.

Repeat it enough, and you will convince yourself of it. Or so I shall like to believe. Persuade ones self to believe in this false truth, and soon, the falseness of the truth will soon become real and no longer shall it be truth, but rather, Truth.

And though I know some people may not be approving, or happy with, or will become angry with me for liking another so soon...I cannot help but be who I may be.

I become attached to people quickly, and will remain so until given reason not to be. I was given that reason three times before, and I kept trying to play dumb and let that reason slide, as though it wasn't there. It was there. Always there; never gone; a lingering shadow of toxin soon to impede upon my dream. It struck at the worst possible time, and yet, at the best. It was the dividing line. To hold on to a dream that may never work out into a reality, or to pursue a new reality altogether that may retain a treasure to delve for in the end.

But, I have become sidetracked it seems, as though I quickly become attached, I can become unattached equally as fast. Never completely mind you, as there is always that little place for someone in my heart. It shrinks, but is never gone. As though a tree has devolved and receded into its seed, waiting to see if it will be watered ever again.

It's just that after such a long, wearisome journey, I threw up my arms and gave up. At that point, that wonderful, refreshing air came through, brushing back my hair and imparting upon me the wisdom and knowledge that lead me to do what was so very hard for me to do. I said things that wrenched my heart. I am sad. But I had my mourning period. I am me, which means that I will have my time to be sad about something, but I realize that I cannot just let my life stop due to it, as life won't stop for me. I need to keep my head up and keep moving on. Always.


Roads cross and split. Roads are seemingly endless, until that sudden stop. Along that seemingly endless stretch of hardship, two separate paths may touch, intertwine, or never touch at all. Who knows how things will turn out? Roads themselves are moving. Always moving. Always.



"Sometime when you least expect it, you’ll realize that someone loved you, and that means someone can love you again. And that’ll make you smile."
-Homer Simpson

Easy, Yet Not So Much

On again, off again. Getting back on, falling back off. And now, a perfect median that allows one to become comfortable with getting on.

And this allows me to be enjoying life, as usual, but just...in an easier way, I'd guess I could say.

Together, but not. Visible, yet unseen. Liked, but not. Ironically, the way things are fit me perfectly. I like things predictable, but not. Simple, yet complex.



Sadly, I can only think about how much I like him...love him...I don't know. I think one day I shall say those words to him.





Is it me, or has there been a shift in people? I see some who usually have a grasp on things, losing it, and those who I've missed, coming back to me, among other things. All in all, it is a positive thing, but as with all things, there is that shadow. With the positive, negative tails along.


Hopefully the sun is high in the sky, and the shadow is minuscule at best.

Here Comes the Downpour

Time to get over him, I suppose. No point in hoping for what never shall be. He messed it up before, many times, so I figured that if he really wanted it to work, he'd fix his mistakes. But I guess not. So I'll just take the safer route and get out of this dangerous cycle when I can.

Visiting Drexel just reassured me that this is the college for me. I cannot wait.

And I also decided that I shall be a "relationship hermit" in college. I just want to have fun and not have any kind of hookups or relationships in college. Just study and have fun with everything.


Time for a walk in the thunderstorm.

In The Clouds, Where Time Really Looks Endless

I hate to talk about the future, as I know it is something undetermined, and yet, I wonder, is it written in the strands of time? Is the future really undetermined, or is it really all set out for us to fulfill, and it is only seen as a mystery to us because the normal person can't see that far into the future to solve the mystery?

Many things in life are deemed inevitable. Many things aren't really as inevitable as some would suggest or perceive. Growing up and dying. Two of the only inevitable events or occurrences that really happen through life. All that matters is how you deal with them.

Going through the whole growing up and out into another realm of life is disheartening, exciting, and tiring. Who knew something could be so filled with so many different things?




I must admit, I am one of those who would be excited for high school reunions. I want to see how everyone has changed and grown up. See how they tackled the inevitable challenge. See who was overcome by the challenge, and who overcame it.



Sometimes, I feel dumb for dreaming. And yet, I feel comfort in those dreams full of fiction. Why must I be so dumb as to wish for things such as this. Even I, the Dreamer, do not fully know. Though, the lack of comprehending, may not be such a bad thing.

Tumbling Views of Silence

"I feel that I am flawed if I have a gay child."

I don't understand how one can be a parent and say that honestly. Especially since my Mother was the one who stated such. Tomorrow, mother and I are having a chat. Time for me to be firm and harsh. I predict she won't like the conversation, but I'm going to love it.

Day of Silence is coming up. The 17th. Participating? Why yes I am. Silence, wearing red, and doing it all. Woo.

Inside emotions still a tumble weed, tumbling round and round.

Not in the mood to write a long blog.

Short and sweet tonight.

Just Set Me On Fire

I hate my feelings.


I hate knowing I'll like them no matter what they do.




Life sucks.




Well....



For the most part anyways.