Compartment For Your Thoughts?

Where to begin this blog? I haven't a clue. Let me organize my thoughts.........thoughts - organized.

Well...in one sense or another.

So, let's see. Now I am not single, which is nice, considering that the person I am with I missed a lot and they said the same about me. But, sometimes, I wish...I wish I could be like other couples. Like, you know, the "normal" hetero couples. People don't mind seeing them holding hands, or squeezing their shoulder out of affection, or hugging them, or kissing. But once a same-sex couple does...everything goes to hell. And so thus, the person I am with who isn't exactly comfortable with being himself is very secretive about us. Now, I understand why and I feel for him. I know why he is acts the way he does, but sometimes it is just hard. Being back with him and not being able to express how happy I am with him and how I feel about him to others...it is so depressing at some points. I look at others who can openly do that, and I feel sad. I wish I could do that. But I can't. I feel as though sometimes, I'm being dragged into a closet that isn't mine, but someone else's.

I guess the good thing is, I'd rather be in that closet with him then be out of it without him. I'll just have to help him open the door little by little.



Now, for another subject. I talked with Amanda a while ago and she brought up Josh and Drew. A subject we haven't talked about for a while. Which is funny, because Josh thought we talked a lot about him, or something along those lines. Quite the contrary my friend. I also seemed to hear that Drew reads this blog. Which is funny...yet quite creepy as well, seeing as the most conversation I have ever had with this person is a few small talk conversations on WoW. Not anything that solidifies a "friendship" of any kind. So, in my opinion, he reading this on a daily basis is a bit creepy, but then again, it is on the Internet.
So, if you read this Drew, I do think it is kind of creepy that you read this. But at the same time, it is whatever.


Today was the last day of the musical. It 'twas a nice time being part of it. A tad bit sad knowing that this is the last high school musical I can ever be an official part of as a high school student with my friends. But, it was all good. A bit of off-stage drama occurred between parents, students, and the director, all of which I believe was completely unnecessary and ridiculous. But maybe that was because I was able to see both sides to all parts of the problem, instead of being tunnel visioned and agreeing with only one side.


Ugh.


He turned to me as I tried to fall asleep next to him and he said in a soft voice, "I missed you." And I realized there and then, why I fell for him before, and why I shall always fall for him, no matter how much happens between us.